I know this Vanity Fair article is biased, but the editing marks are good and I had to laugh that someone took the time to do it. Take a look if you are curious, and if you and your students don’t object to the bias you could use part of it as an example of editing and how to mark a paper.
I officially nominate this headline as the WTF moment of the week.
Here is a great example of irony from Fail Blog:
Sometimes I am just amazed at the accuracy of cartoons and comic sites. Check out GraphJam!
A friend sent this to me a while back, and it makes me smile every once in a while. Hope it makes you laugh a little (though some hit pretty close to home for me). 🙂
You Might Be A School Employee If…
1. You believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.
2. You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 8 to 3:00 and have summers free.”
3. You can tell if it’s a full moon without looking outside.
4. You believe “shallow gene pool” should have its own check box on a report card.
5. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says: “Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.”
6. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.
7. You have no social life between August and June.
8. Marking all A’s on report cards would make your life SO easy.
9. You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
10. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
11. You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the “lounge.”
12. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or Home schooling!
13. You can’t have children because there’s no name you could give a child that wouldn’t bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it.
14. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
15. You know you are in for a major project when a parent says, “I have a great idea I’d like to discuss. I think it would be such fun.”
16. Meeting a child’s parent instantly answers the question, “Why is this kid like this?”
Yes, some of these are at my own expense, but I like them anyway. 🙂
“Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don’t.”
“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.”(Even bumper stickers can contain truth.)
“Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.”
“I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.”
“I speak twelve languages. English is the bestest.”
“Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.”
“A lecture is a process by which the notes of the professor become the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.”
“Why don’t they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.”
“After spending four years as a college star he failed as a pro footballer. All he had to show for it was an education.”
“If a man is a fool, you don’t train him out of being a fool by sending him to university. You merely turn him into a trained fool, ten times more dangerous.”
“I know you believe you understand what you think I said. But I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant.”
“The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.”
“Education is not received. It is achieved.”
“Education is a progressive discovery of your own ignorance.”
“The things taught in schools and colleges are not an education, but the means to an education.”
“Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor’s course.”